Parenting and Devices

April 23, 2019
Len Teague, Former Pastor of Children & Youth

Click here for a talk on Digital Discipleship by Aaron Tolson from 2019.

As he exited the driver’s side of the car and moved to the passenger side, my dad said, “You drive.”

I could feel my heart beating with the enthusiasm of knowing that I would soon be driving on roads and not in the community center parking lot. I instantly imagined exciting scenarios: driving to school, going on dates, taking friends places, not being at the mercy of waiting on my parents to drive me somewhere, and a day sooner rather than later of getting a car of my own.

Then he commanded, “Put it into reverse.”

Did I hear that correctly? He repeated, “Put the car into reverse, son. You know where that is, don’t you?”

Then he explained, “Anyone can drive a car going forward, but to understand the power, the danger, and the need for careful control, you must first learn to drive it in reverse.”

And so, after an hour of driving in reverse, my father got out of the car, looked at me through the passenger window, and said with a smile, “Now put it in drive.” And the rest is history.

Most of us know the responsibility of driving, though we may take it for granted. Since the invention of the automobile, parents and the laws of the land have understood and explained the importance of learning and passing practical and knowledgeable tests before getting behind the wheel.

When our children encounter devices in their hands, on their laps, or in their classrooms, they need the same protecting adult to train them how to use the device responsibly as every past generation has trained teenagers how to use the automobile.

We live in the technological and digital age. There is no way around it. It seems that every day we are discovering more and more of the wonder of these devices in learning, communicating, playing, and connecting. And we are finding out that our children are quick to learn how to use them for both good and ill, but are not prepared to handle the responsibility we have given to them.

A recent study reported that 97% of teens aged 13-17 said they use at least one social media platform. While there may be some connectional benefit to such platforms, another study reported that 59% of US teens have been bullied or harassed online.

How do we live wisely and vigilantly in these tech times as parents, grandparents, families, and individuals?

As a staff, we have learned some best practices that everyone should consider as first faithful steps toward technological stewardship. By making them available to you, especially parents and grandparents, we hope to be a community that stewards our children’s safety well.

We implore parents to use the restrictive settings on your devices and make use of the two apps, “Bark” and “Disney Circle.” It is likely that this will add time and stress to the daily care for your children, especially the older children who might fuss over new restrictions. But I wasn’t always a careful, lawful driver, and when I wasn’t, my father would remind me that he owned the car that I was driving and would take the keys to remind me who the owner was. Who owns the device and services that your children are using?

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